idolatry part two: CRACKED CISTERNS

Continuing on from last week’s yarn on idolatry, this post is a bit more of a personal take on this topic. At the beginning of this year I asked one of my friends if he wanted to know God. The honesty of his response shook me and for a while I didn't know what to say. He said to me, "Yeah, it would be nice, but I don't think I really want it. I'm scared of what I would have to give up." I couldn't tell if my friend thought that the Christian life wasn't good enough for him, or the complete opposite. That he wasn't good enough for God.

Someone told me once that we're all exactly as close to God as we want to be, and that if we really desire INTIMACY with Him, then our busy schedules, our work, and our friend groups aren't going to stand in the way of us developing this relationship. Isaiah 45:19 says, "I publicly proclaim bold promises. I do not whisper obscurities in some dark corner. I would not have told the people of Israel to seek me if I could not be found."

We're all so easily caught up on the temporary highs. Even before I got into drinking, I sought belonging and fulfillment in the snow culture, the rush of skiing and snowboarding. I shaped my identity around skiing. Once we've dipped our feet into the world and had a taste, it's hard to stop, because it NEVER truly satisfies. Every morning I'd wake up with a little hollow feeling that I couldn't quite explain. One night I made a mistake that I couldn’t take back, and I didn't regret it until I did.

From that moment on I've felt like I've carried the weight of that night on my shoulders and it's always been in the back of my mind, speaking into my life. I let that night convince me that my worth and my entire value was based in the identity I found in this culture. I didn't believe I was worthy of the love of God. I thought I belonged to the world, to the boys who liked me, to the people I could please, and the buzz I could get out of a night on the town. Jeremiah 2:11-13 says "... yet my people have exchanged their glorious God for worthless idols! The heavens are shocked at such a thing and shrink back in horror and dismay, says the Lord. For my people have done two evil things: they have abandoned me - the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cistern that can hold no water at all!" I felt like I was pouring my self-worth into this CRACKED CISTERN I’d created for myself that wasn’t able to retain any purpose or satisfaction.

Psalm 115:4-8 says, "Their idols are things of silver and gold, shaped by human hands. They have mouths but cannot speak, and eyes but cannot see. They have ears but cannot hear, and noses but cannot smell. They have hands but cannot feel, and feet but cannot walk, and throats but cannot make a sound. And those who make idols are just like them, as are all who trust in them." The psalmist refers to silver and gold – things with a high monetary value. Idols can look so appealing to us, the same way I would crave macca’s while knowing it’s not really going to fill me up or be all that healthy for me. Someone once said that WE BEGIN TO LOOK LIKE WHATEVER IT IS THAT WE WORSHIP. When we truly worship God, people can begin to see Christ within us. Likewise, when we have hollow and flimsy idols, we become hollow and flimsy ourselves. Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.

I had so much pride that was disguising itself as insecurity that I had created an IDOL of my own WORKS and ABILITIES. In a way, the fictional concept of my own perfection had become the object of my worship. More than I desired genuine, authentic relationship with the creator, I just wanted to be GOOD ENOUGH. As Isaiah 41:24 says, "...those who choose you pollute themselves,” and I had polluted myself so much with this idolatry that I completely lost my purpose and my identity in Him.

Everyone I know just wants to be happy. We've all got to find our fulfillment in SOMETHING; be it our families, friends, sports, or careers. I would argue that ANY of these facets in our lives that we seek purpose in ahead of Christ is an idol. But our families are good things, right? Our careers? Hobbies? I mean, of course they are. God gave us passions, things we care about, and desires. How can a gift from the Father become an idol before him?

I think that this can happen when we are too focused on the GIFT and forget about the GIVER. When we love CREATION more than we love the CREATOR. When our prayers look more like a list of THINGS that we are thankful for than actually showing GRATITUDE to the one who gave them to us. God gave me a passion for snow sports, but I got so caught up in enjoying the snow that I started to forget who created it, and I spent more time with the mountains than I did with the creator. I identified myself as a skier more than I did a follower of Christ. I started inviting snow sports into my life before God instead of using it to glorify Him.

We're so afraid that God is going to ask us to hold our hands open and offer up to him the things nearest and dearest to us, our passions, our loves, the things close to our heart. It's true that He is a jealous God and his desire is to be our first love, the one we give our hearts to, our greatest passion. And He is no stranger to the concept of sacrifice - after all, he gave up His only Son to die the most painful death on the cross that we might live - why should we be exempt? Why should we not lay our lives down in response? However, I don't believe the reason God asks us to lay down things that are important to us is just to fulfill divine justice.

I think it's because He loves us, and His love is not characterised by TAKING, but by GIVING. He says, 'hold out your hands - I want to give you everything.' How can we have room in our hands for all God wants to give us when we're hanging on so tightly to things of the world?

I asked my friend if he was satisfied. If it was enough to live life on the fence, choosing the party life until he gets sick of it and decides it is time to settle down and become a "Good Christian." And at the time his response broke my heart, because it was too much of a risk for him. He was too hooked on the world.

I know this is something I talk about often, but it’s something that becomes relevant time and time again in my own life as I get tempted to try have it both ways. Someone told me that the Devil calls us by our sin, but God calls us by our name. It’s an encouraging thought that we have died to our sin and are no longer controlled by our sinful natures but are SET FREE by Christ Jesus. I just wanted to share these thoughts with you guys and maybe help challenge you to have a look at your own lives and what you might be finding purpose in ahead of Christ, or to think about what your idols could be if you find yourself sitting on the fence sometimes.

To end on an encouraging note, today it has almost been a year since I had that conversation with my friend. A couple of weeks ago he was baptised, and he’s one of the most encouraging and supportive people in my life and Christian walk.